Ben is a be-er and I am a do-er. He likes to sit and observe. I like to act. He likes to move slowly. I like to move quickly. He is happy to wander and I am not. In fact, I hate wandering. It's irritating. If there isn't a destination or a goal to an activity, I don't want to be doing it. Last night, Ben decided that he needed to wander about the city to get out and enjoy the night air. But he wasn't sure how far he wanted to stroll, in what direction he wanted to wander, or if he wanted to end up somewhere one, two miles, or three miles away. And so we wandered, much to my irritation, about two miles into the city and walked in circles until I complained enough to go home.
Funny enough, once I had a destination in mind, I was totally happy to meander the city streets. I was enjoying the lights and the streets and watching the people. With a destination in mind, it didn't matter that we were not walking in a straight line home and it didn't matter that our feet hurt a bit from the concrete. Ben's mood, however, turned in the opposite direction. Once we had a destination, his feet hurt too much to meander, he wanted to go home, and he was too hot. He was aching to get back to the house as the mission of his trip had been completed. His destination was the wander and once it was over, it was no longer any fun.
We laughed about the difference between us while we walked, and it's something I don't think we'll ever reconcile. I'm built for progress and he's built to enjoy the here and now. He is always stopping to smell the roses while I want to get to the roses, smell the roses, take a picture, say we've done it, and get outta there. In thinking about future outings, I told Ben he needed to tell me a destination, a focal point of the outing (we're walking into the Pearl, but let's not walk quickly or in a straight line or we're walking for a 1/2 hour) instead of being wishy washy about direction and intent. Once I get an idea of what we were doing in the city streets, I can get on board with the mission.
The pictures above were the only product of the walk into the evening streets. So at least something was accomplished that's tangible! What kind of disconnects do you have with your partner/S.O./BF/GF that you just can't reconcile?