Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Make New Friends, But Keep the Old

Top: Gap (in stores, similar); Jeans: Gap; Necklace: c/o Our World Boutique (similar); Heels: c/o Lulu*s

Making friends in a post-college world is like dating in a post-college world. Just subtract the helpful resources like OK Cupid and There aren't really online dating sites for seeking out a new best friend. Moving to a new city complicates things even further. All of the sudden, your cultivated friend group is hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away and you're in the center of a massive city, just wandering about trying to figure out how on earth someone makes friends.

There are meet-ups for people that like similar things, gyms, festivals.. but similar to dating - you don't want to creepily approach someone at a big event and request they be your next friend. It's weird. And horrible. And I think in our world that has done away with the social circles and calling cards of an earlier era, it's nearly impossible to get to know anyone awesome in a new city without lots of time on your side.

Yet, we've started to make traction. We were lucky enough to have the "hundreds of miles away" friend situation and still see our best friends that live in Seattle about once every three months or so (they're awesome enough to travel down to PDX). I've been able to make some really lovely connections within the blogger world and am starting to ease out into that blogger meet-up world to get to know people and find more ladies that brunch. 

And then, we're also lucky enough to have Ben in medical school, and like all situations where 100+ similarly-aged people are thrown together, there is bound to be some kind of connection forged. We've been picky and choosy about med students. They're kind of an awful group of people - the surgeon-hopefuls, especially, with their stay-at-home wives just counting down the hours until the paychecks finally arrive. But the good ones are emerging out of the woodwork and I think we've finally gathered enough sarcastic and dry-humoured people to have dinner parties with. It feels good. 

We've been in Portland now for almost a year and it's taken this long to find people that we can just text and ask "drinks tonight?" without planning some big ordeal that works to limit the amount of awkwardness of a first couple-date. I'm so grateful that we've finally found a group of people down here in PDX to glom onto and hang out with, but I often think back to the easy peasy days of college when there was literally a friend on every single corner. If you stumbled out of your dorm room, you could ostensibly make friends with any passerby and know that they likely had a lot of similar interests as you (your college being the main "in-common" factor). If you're reading this and still in college, cherish those beautiful times and just know they don't last forever and soon you'll be going alone to bars preying on people just to try to make them be your friends


  1. move down to new orleans :) we would def love to have drinks with yall :) loving your beautiful blues today and those heels are awesome! love those :)

    XO Meghan
    citrus fashion

  2. Hopefully I get added to the list! :)

  3. This is so true!! K & I were lucky to meet some great friends through work after moving to LA.

    P.S. LOVE the color of your nail polish!!

    xo, B

  4. Great post! I totally could find myself in your words as I've been in the same situation when I have moved not just cities, but countries ( in Europe ). You also look very pretty in this baby blue outfit :)

  5. Great post, this is all so true! You don't realize after you graduate college that making friends as an adult is kind of weird and awkward, but it makes it that much more awesome when you do connect with someone and form that friendship. I'm so glad that blogging helped us connect and am thankful to have you as a friend! :) We definitely need to get together soon, it's been too long!

  6. It is so difficult to make new friends when you're older. My husband and I lived in a town for 5 years and only made a couple friends. Now we've moved again and have to start all over.

  7. This is such a widespread truth! Finding friends has absolutely proven to be more difficult than dating.

    Rachel of MWFSeekingBFF really went full force and started "friending" (her description of dating potential new friends).

    It's SO good to know that difficulty finding friends is not specific to me :) Great post!

    xx Katie

  8. ugh I completely agree with how difficult it is to make friends. I consider myself a fairly outgoing person but making new friends is definitely challenging.

    P.S. I ADORE your shoes.

  9. I know exactly what you mean! And it only gets more and more difficult as you get older. My circle of friends have only gotten smaller with time, since many of them went back to their native countries after living in the US for a number of years. There isn't even enough people to make a circle anymore. Also as people get older their life style changes quite a bit. People have kids, advance in their careers, which usually means less time left to devote to maintaining friendships. Just the other day I was thinking, "I seriously need to meet more people!" The question is where exactly?

  10. Casual and chic. I love your outfit!

    Check out my latest #OOTD post: Floral Fantasy


    Lil Miss Bianca

  11. Hah! I totally understand this... however one thing I've learned is it always takes time.. you look lovely as always!

  12. It is always a challenge to meet people and forge new friendships. I feel like everyone just has this 'busy' excuse, and it takes a lot to become someone worth making time for.

    Love your heels with these jeans, they are the perfect pair. Like BFFs.
    Chic on the Cheap

  13. Great outfit! Ugh I know exactly what you mean about finding new friends. My problem is that I am in college and having a hard time making new friends. Its definitely a process, I just want a good group that will be there for one another, but times change and people move on.
    Thanks for the relatable post!

    check out my blog if you would like :)

  14. I totally agree with everything that you said. It's really hard to make friends after college. I'm totally experiencing this right now seeing as I just moved. Thanks for your thoughts
    -Alex of

  15. Love the double denim look here! And those heels are perfection with the outfit!

    It is SUPER hard to make new friends after college. I have really only made new friends through work, volunteering and blogging. I mean, what else do you do? Walk up to a girlfriend in a bar who looks like she's having a good time and ask to be BFFs? That would be kind of creepy, right? Anyway, I do my best to go out with friends and take advantage of blogger events, it has helped me reach out and meet even more people! It certainly isn't easy though.

  16. Love your hair.

  17. I so get this, once you enter the world of work, everyone has their own friend already and it's much harder to make friends without making a real effort.


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