Thursday, September 25, 2014

A Hard Battle











Top: Ann Taylor; Skirt: Chicwish; Necklace: old; Heel: Michael Kors

I went to lunch with a friend today and we talked about some recent difficulties she has been going through with an anxiety disorder. She expressed that scary feeling of being all alone in her struggle. You know, that little nagging voice in the back of your head saying "you're the only one to have ever gone through this. You must be crazy!" What a voice to fight with on top of an already awful emotional time in her life. I was quick to nod as she described what she was going through - that all-too-familiar doom and gloom, the panic feeling that builds and builds until your entire body feels electrically charged, in the worst way possible. I think that she was surprised to hear that she wasn't as alone as her brain had told her. If there is anything I have learned and am always learning during my own struggles with anxiety, it is that my problems are far from isolated. I have countless family and friends that experience the same anxieties.

What is it about our brains and bodies that convince us that we're crazy, that we're weirdos, that we're all alone? The longer you sit with yourself, brain working away, the more convinced you are that your problems are larger than life and that they're entirely unique to you. I often find that the moment I open up about a problem, the quicker I find that there are so many people around me that have experienced it, heard of it, or have amazing advice on how to deal with it. Relationship issues? Never unique. Anxiety disorders? Hardly solo experiences (think 20% of the young adult to 20-something population). Sadness and hardship? We all go through it. 

I think that the most important thing to do when you're going through something hard is to share your struggles. The more you reach out, ask for help, and let others know what you're going through, the more you'll find that you are increasingly less alone. The more you keep your thoughts to yourself, the more you legitimize them. I am struggling through my own anxiety disorder, I have friends struggling through their own, and family fighting their own battles. We anything but alone.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Ian Maclaren


8 comments

  1. Great post and great way of thinking... We are all from time to time in the same boat.

    Sometimes we have it easier, sometimes we have it so hard that we think, just like you've said, bad things are happening only to us, all of our problems are much larger than what they really are, etc.

    Having a friend or family member to talk to helps a lot to set our brains and see that problems, just like happiness are all part of life and we're not the only ones experiencing either one of these.

    http://lartoffashion.blogspot.com

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  2. Ramida DusdeevutikulSeptember 25, 2014 at 10:44 PM

    so pretty!

    www.bstylevoyage.blogspot.com
    xx

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  3. Thanks for sharing this! Whether it's anxiety over life stuff, or anxiety over work stuff, someone in your circle has gone through it too or is going through it now. You're never alone.

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  4. such a classy look! it's absolutely gorgeous.

    http://thegirlwhocriedchic.blogspot.com

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  5. You're right—sharing your burden makes it a little lighter. I'm glad your friend was able to open up to you.

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  6. This top is so elegant! You're right that if you reach out, and share your struggles, you will almost always find someone who wants to help shoulder your burdens. It's a vicious cycle in that someone might be afraid to reach out and get rejected and feel more alone so keeps it all in and spirals further in, when it's the the fact that you're not reaching out that is making you alone!

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  7. I love your look and your post even more! It's hard to talk about how you're feeling but more often than not someone can relate and it's easier to talk about it than bottle it up. Also, I think that quote is attributed to Plato - I used it as my senior quote, and I'll be so upset if there was a mistake in my senior yearbook!

    Michaela || The Monogrammed Midwesterner

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  8. Michaela - I hate to tell you - it's actually widely mis-attributed to Plato. I love doing quote origin research because they're so often ascribed to random people. Ian MacLaren (a pseudonym for John Watson, who it's also attributed to) is the author. There's a great article about it here and the blog is a great one for finding quote info - http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/06/29/be-kind/

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