Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Therapy











Coat: c/o Chicwish; Top: Gap (old); Pants: Gap (ankle length); Heels: Michael Kors; Bracelet, ring: c/o Rocks Box*; Necklace: c/o One Necklace

*Get a free month of Rocks Box here

I'm not entirely sure when I started enjoying listening to other people's problems, but I do remember a time in high school when a friend told me I should be a therapist because I was good at listening and offering solutions. In college, I was frequently confided in - not because I was a particularly trustworthy person or because I had a good listening face (perhaps I do?) - but because people found in me someone willing to listen and willing to provide honest feedback. My personality type (seconded by the Myers Briggs assessment) is one that treats facts logically and I think that it allows me to see a problem and then see a right course of action to solve it.

I've never been known as a really "nice" person (because, I'm really not), but I have been told countless times that I am appreciated for my honesty and genuine advice. If you're going through something, I'm not going to sugarcoat it, but I am going to offer logical and effective advice that will likely get you farther than a hug and a sympathetic face will. And so I find myself in a position of knowing a lot about people, their histories, and their problems. The detective, know-it-all core of my being, of course, loves this, but even more than that guilty pleasure is the joy of knowing I can objectively help someone solve their problem.

I swear that I missed my calling as a counselor, or life coach, or therapist, and I often contemplate going back to school for a Masters in Counseling. I get a ton of joy out speaking with other people about what's going on with them. It never really feels too weighty or too heavy and I rarely find myself shocked about what other people are going through. As far as I am concerned, we're all fighting through the same day, fighting similar demons, and at our core, are all attempting to do the right thing.

Recently, I've found myself on the outskirts of many an issue, listening in to people going through a really difficult time. I won't go into the details, but the overarching theme of the self-talk I keep hearing is this: "I messed up. I am a bad person." I don't know how many times I've heard that over the course of the past few weeks, but the only thing I see resulting from it is self-hatred and negativity that distances them from real solutions. The more you beat yourself up, the more time you dedicate not to solving your problems but to creating a more intense problem with your self-worth. If you make a mistake or go through something difficult or get emotional or want to change your behavior, the last thing that you need is to bring yourself further down. Start giving yourself the benefit of the doubt, like you give others around you. Let yourself grow and change and give yourself the grace to move forward without badgering your core. It's the only chance you have to right your wrongs and live, comfortably, with yourself.


24 comments

  1. Love that coat! So amazing.

    xoKiara

    Tobruckave Blog

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  2. I love that trench!

    xo

    www.laurajaneatelier.com

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  3. You look amazing! Love the entire outfit!

    Balham domestic cleaners

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  4. You lok great! Love your coat and your cute freckles!

    XX

    www.floortjeloves.com

    www.facebook.com/floortjeloves

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  5. Loving the print of that adorable top!

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  6. I wish I could go into details about how much I needed this post but I would be a sobbing mess. Oh and my boss would wonder if I actually ever worked. Anyway, just please know you are not alone and you have helped me without even knowing it!
    www.theadoredlife.com

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  7. Great Post! I think that you have a gift ... and if you love listening and offering advice, go back to school girl! {loving your business-casual attire too!}
    Cheers, Monique
    Casually Chic by Monique
    Find me at : bloglovin' | facebook

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  8. First timer here. I just want to say I love your skin. Your freckles are lovely. It gives you such a fresh faced look. Even more so, I love that you don't try and hide them. Your style is so beautiful. I really enjoyed this blog. (:

    http://accordingtokiki123.blogspot.com/

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  9. Great coat!
    Victoria | GlamFizz
    or follow on Instagram

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  10. Love this post, and also love the personal note. Always love posts that let us readers get to know a blogger better. :) Xo, Alison


    www.simplyfairbyalisonjeanine.com

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  11. I'm totally with you on this; I don't even know how many times I've been told I should've been a therapist/psychologist. But I do love giving advice (and a little tough love.)

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  12. Okay, now I'm curious - what is your Myers-Briggs type?

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  13. rebecca - i am an entj!

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  14. Cool! My first guess was INTJ, but that makes perfect sense!

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  15. Adore the color of that coat

    >>>I am A Love Addict<<<

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  16. I never comment, but I do follow and stop by. ...I just can't on this one. I cannot even get through this post. I am dying laughing. Whew. Deep breath, and maybe I'll make it through the second paragraph in a minute. Prob not. You are great entertainment, even my husband agrees. So please keep it up, and please don't grow up. That road will be very hard for you, the learning, but it will come like a smack in the face when things actually happen. With time.

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  17. are you a big fan of the test as well? what is your type?

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  18. well, if nothing else, i'm glad I can serve as a source of amusement and daily laughs for you and your husband. i suppose we all need someone to laugh at.

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  19. I love MB! I think it's a wonderful way to be able to understand and connect with people, and it's so fun to type friends and family! I'm ISTJ.

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  20. I love that coat, the cut and color are beautiful!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

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  21. This outfit is adorable! I love capris with heels and your dainty jewelry.
    xo! J.Frost @ www.fashionablyfrost.com

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  22. Ha! Glad you have a sense of humor!

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