Thursday, January 22, 2015

Fool's Gold








Coat: c/o Chicwish; Top: Gap (old); Pants: Gap (on sale!); Scarf: c/o Popsugar Must Have Box; Heels: Michael Kors

I didn't grow up with a lot of money. My parents scrimped and saved to be able to afford luxuries for our family (like vacations or school trips), nice back to school clothes (that we rudely demanded - "it just has to be Roxy" - I regret that still), and to feed us well. I think back to the way I grew up and suspect my parents sacrificed quite a lot to keep us healthy and happy. I don't imagine that they afforded themselves many splurges at all. Yet, I don't recall ever feeling like I was lacking anything growing up, and I certainly don't reflect on my childhood now as a time where my needs weren't met. I instead reflect upon that time as a good reminder that you can a) get by on less, b) prioritize your expenses to best suit your family, and c) that excess isn't often the answer.

I remember dreaming, in high school and college, of making $40,000 a year when I graduated. I imagined all the things I could do and buy. It seemed like the end-all, be-all of professional salaries. That dream of $40k was real throughout my entire teens and twenties. Once I actually thought about the fact that at $40k a year, I could buy name brand razors, all the make-up I wanted, and Catwalk's $12 oatmeal shampoo. Looking back I laugh. I still can't afford that damn Catwalk shampoo. My bathroom shelf right now consists of the almost Venus razors (that I can never afford the refills for), a massive jug of shampoo that was on sale, and Irish Spring soap. We even buy the generic St. Ives apricot scrub. Lofty ideals, that college self had.

Graduating from college provided a nice little revelation: taxes. Healthcare. Student loans. Debt. Adult expenses. Rent above $350 a month (college, I swear!). A 2011 graduation date meant that not only was that $40,000 beyond an English major's starting pay, but my less-than-$40,000 was quickly eroded by income tax (really? 25% of my salary?), by my large and mandated monthly student loan payments (1/4 of my paycheck?!), and the price of an apartment that wasn't shared by 6 other college students. 

Living with a perpetual student hasn't helped either. I'm the primary supporter of my household and while I relish being the one with the financial decision-making power, I often think back to that dream of $40k. I'm envious of my naive former self. Ever since my tax refund eroded to nothing and I found myself paying semi-monthly bills and groaning, I've dreamed of more and more. Ways to increase that salary by $100, $200, $1000, $2000. And as you working folks all know, it's never easy. Money, after all, does not grow on trees. And there's no magic number that suddenly makes everything easier. For every raise, there's a rent increase. For every tax refund, there's a refrigerator to fix. For every saved dollar, there's the dream of something new - a home, a car, continued education. 

The more I dream of more, somewhat ironically, I think about how much I have. I come home to a beautiful apartment in a city. I eat well. I have fun. Ben and I have enough disposable income to be able to go on an anniversary trip to a hotel this weekend. There are certainly luxuries that we (like my parents afforded my brother and I) are able to afford and relish. I think that it's always important to remember what you came from, what you can do with and without, and that despite our ever-growing list of wants (we all have them), we have enough to be warm every night, in a quiet house, under a solid roof.  

How do you stay financially grounded? Are you always reaching for more?

20 comments

  1. Love that you're so open and honest with your readers!
    It's inspiring and very relatable to read your blog posts which
    is also a nice breath of fresh air after seeing tons of "perfectly"
    polished lives on blogs every day.

    http://lartoffashion.blogspot.com

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  2. that scarf is beautiful!
    we budget, and it's hard sometimes to see others who just buy what they want when they want it, while I am unable to do that due to budgetting.. but I know that in the long run, we'll most likely be better off. As it is right now the only debt we have is our mortgage, and because we saved we were able to pay for a down payment on our house. life is good, but you always reach for more right? :)
    xoxo,
    Alysalovely.com

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  3. I have the same scarf, it is amazingly gorgeous!

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  4. Beautiful soft colours! They look amazing on you!

    ♥♥♥

    Jeanne

    http://fashionmusingsdiary.com

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  5. Oh girl, we basically grew up the same way! I totally understand thinking that when you have xxxxx amount of money you can going to buy ALLLLLL the name brand and you are going to be one rich bitch. Well, here I am and I am definitely not a rich bitch.


    www.theadoredife.com

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  6. I can totally relate to this. I really thought I'd be rolling in the dough after college! Sigh....my working years were full of scrimping, saving, and occasional over-spending, which took a lot to recover from!

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  7. I always say, "once I can go to the grocery store and buy whatever type and brand of food i want, I've made it!" hahaha sadly, I have many generic brands in my pantry. :(

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  8. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I bought a car in the spring and it is amazing what a different having a car payment makes! My ability to put into savings has decreased significantly - I know that I looked at my budget before - but it feels different than it looked on paper. Ha.

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  9. It is important to remember where you came from. And to know that financial security can flux throughout our lives. Some of the hardest times I've seen is where friends thought they were doing good and then had nothing. I agree with you that it's just enjoying where you're at and looking at the things you do have. The $12 shampoo probably wouldn't make you that much happier. :)

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  10. Good for you girl for staying grounded! It is hard and I think it's hard to say no to designer things on sale that would look so good in your closet but you'd rather have enough saved to do a fun trip! Happy anniversary and love the scarf- there's little bits of gold in everything ;)

    http://chelseascollection.com

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  11. The lighting in those photos is gorg! When I was in college I was given a certain allowance/stipend, so back then (of course it helped that I was an Econ major) I was already aware of money and started tracking how much I was spending, saving, and budgeting for things I wanted (like setting a certain % for play money to be used for dining out, clothes, vacations). Since all the money I made when I started working was more than I had with the stipend, every little bit where I didn't have to buy the cheapest version in the store felt like a perk. I guess I just had/have much lower expectations and keep them low to live below my means and that keeps me grounded!

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  12. I keep a list of things we want/need then wait. I'll be going to estate sales over the next few months to try to fulfill some of these wishes cheaply. (I just about choked when looking at the sale ads in the paper—a bed frame costs HOW MUCH?!)

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  13. The financial thing is always really up and down for me. I AM always reaching for more with income, and always pulling away with spending. I'm still trying to find the perfect balance between the two. Of course, I have two little ones now, so that makes it even harder, especially because I've just started a business and am right in that in between stage of getting a fair bit of work gfrom my design business, but also not yet ready to quit my day job! I tend to spend a lot on food, because health is important, and then twice a year I allow myself to buy a few new things for myself, clothes, makeup, etc. Honestly, though, I'm not half as frugal when it comes to buying stuff for my babies, haha. DIYing a lot of stuff is a good way to go...!

    Love your blog, by the way :) Glad to have found it!

    xo! -amber
    http://wheretheresdesign.com

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  14. I am always trying to save but then the thought of possessing new things takes it over but I have no regrets, I live in the moment and want to celebrate life as and when it comes.


    Stumbled across your blog, needless to say, I love it :) Would love for you to drop by too.


    www.guiltybytes.com

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  15. Love the details on the scarf!
    xx
    Coco
    http://mllecoconath.com

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  16. love your coat! great look

    i really enjoyed what you wrote, it really sounds like you have a great appreciation for everything you have!

    xx

    http://anoddgirl.blogspot.com.au

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  17. What a fantastic outfit!


    I think it can often be hard to stay financially grounded but like you I try to take note of what we do have and focus on being happy with what we have.

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  18. That scarf is gorgeous! And I love this post. I'm an English major as well -- though I work in marketing and advertising now. But I do always want to reach for more... though I keep reminding myself that I adore my apartment, have great food every day, and the like. Thanks for sharing, and I love your blog!
    xo Southern Style

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  19. This is a really great post. Thanks for sharing! I think the wanting more is really difficult to curb sometimes, especially in the blog world. I'm definitely working on it!

    xo, Maddy

    http://cassidylou.com

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