Thursday, April 2, 2015

Blue Macaw













Dress: LOFT (similar, similar); Sandals: Shopbop (similar, similar); Wristlet: Coach

A few months ago, I read a blogger's wedding recap and recall that one thing stuck out to me about her post: she mentioned that she experienced a post-wedding depression. I remember chuckling a bit about it. You mean you had a massive party, a fantastic vacation, and you're depressed because the party's over? A colleague also warned me: the post-wedding let-down is really difficult! She said she'd moped through her whole honeymoon. It seemed a bit frivolous, but I likened it to the feeling performers get after a show's run is through - that amped-up, adrenaline-fueled, joyful showtime ends and you're left void of that sort of high. However, I'd never experienced a show/performance letdown and didn't know what to expect (I was also so anxious about the wedding that I expected I'd be relieved).

Tonight, driving home from the grocery store, I started crying. A song started playing on the radio that reminded me of my family and the tears just started falling. Ben looked across at me and didn't say a word, just started running his hands through my hair. We leaned on each other when we parked the car and didn't have to say much. "I'm not ready to be back here" was (and is) the sentiment that has been running through us for the past two days.

It may seem really silly to be depressed about something so gratuitous as a wedding, but you'd be surprised at how difficult it is to recover from such a momentous occasion. The main thing that has had me weeping in the car on the road home is that we spent one week with the people we love most in the whole world - our parents, grandparents, siblings, best friends - and now we're back at home, all alone. Ben and I are pretty insular, happy-to-just-be-together people, but there is nothing like spending a full week with people expressing their love and joy at your union. We brought two families together. We introduced friends, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents. We started our future as a couple together. And during that entire process there were beautiful moments, many a tear, heartfelt confessions, speeches, songs sung, guitars played... all for us. The entire week was about our love.

It's hard to return to a quiet house after you've spent so long in the company of the people that truly unconditionally love you. We had family members that travelled across the entire U.S. to see us marry, just one 12 hour period of time that they were willing to spend large amounts (of time and money) to witness. We had best friends that proved (beyond what we already knew) to be such angels in our life - selflessly giving themselves, their talents, and their time to us.

As I sat quietly crying in the car, it struck me that, though my life is full and rich and happy, I won't experience my wedding again. I will have the fond memory of it for the rest of my life - but those short hours are all gone. My advice to any future bride is to seriously seriously seriously savor those hours. I didn't heed anyone's advice (too nervous!), but I should have sat with my joy and taken a few more mental snapshots of the day. It was truly the best day of my entire life and I cannot believe it's over.

12 comments

  1. I love your maxi dress

    xo

    www.laurajaneatelier.com

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  2. I will still cry over my wedding day...almost two years later. I tell everyone my favorite part was just that there will never be a time again that all of those people will be in one place for, and with you, in one of the happiest moments of your life. Sometimes I ask my husband if we can do it all over again, or go back and relive it. Sending you newlywed well wishes, and all the happiness post wedding! It gets so good.

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  3. I think I remember that feeling! But our honeymooon was 3 weeks after our wedding so we had something to look forward to. I am still so touched that so many of our family came from far away to watch us celebrate our love and vows. Weddings are crazy and amazing that way!

    Gorgeous dress, bird, and photos!

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  4. Hang in there sweets! I can tell why it is so hard, you look absolutely content in these photos. Let's get together soon and catch up.

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  5. Such a beautiful story. I love your freckles and your pictures are breathtaking.
    My sister just got married recently and I kept urging her to take deep breaths throughout the day and savor the experience. My wedding day seems like a blur at this point, it all happens so fast after all the anticipation!

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  6. I think your feelings are absolutely understandable. You look stunning in these pictures!

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  7. True with any big, climactic life event, but there will be others.

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  8. It's a small comfort, but even though everyone is not physically present, all the love from them to you two is still here for you now. Ever since, it's also made me always more appreciative of time spent with loved ones too and not to let outside things ruin it (rude service, bad day at the office, etc)!

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  9. Congratulations! The photos are gorgeous! Your feelings are totally valid. I remember going through that a few months after our wedding. The planning and all the events surrounding the wedding were so exciting that once everything died down, I felt like life was mundane. I was eager to start the next chapter of our lives.

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  10. Great dress! You look absolutely beautiful on the pictures!

    xx

    Coco

    http://www.mllecoconath.com/blog/2015/4/3/late-afternoon-stroll-bali

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  11. Glad you have so many wonderful memories! My husband and I have talked about re-living our wedding day somehow, someway, since we had such a blast as well. Good advice to savor those moments.

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  12. It is a little sad when the wedding is over. You look forward to it so much and it goes by way too fast! I didn't really get sad after my wedding because we had some major drama at the wedding with my in-laws so afterwards that consumed me and I didn't have time to be sad. I would have rather gone through a little depression than have to deal with what we went through. lol. Anyways, LOVE your dress! It looks amazing on you!

    http://elementsofellis.com/

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