Sunday, April 5, 2015

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

Top: LOFT (similar, similar)
Shorts: Nordstrom (similar printed, similar romper)
Sandals: Shopbop (similar)

The minute I got engaged, I started to worry about how I'd cope with both wedding planning and going through with an actual wedding. I wrote a post on pairing an anxiety disorder with wedding planning and, though I clearly survived that planning process, I still had the final hurdle to fling myself over - the actual wedding day.

The night before the wedding, we had the rehearsal dinner, which served to distract me until we got home and it was time to pack up our suitcases (we left for our hotel right after the wedding), get everything laid out for the next day, and start getting serious about the fact that we were actually getting married. There was a laundry list of things to do: figure out our makeup and hair, speeches to practice, vows to refine. It actually gives me anxiety to type this out right now and I'm done with the whole process. I won't go into the gory details, but I was basically up half the night on the night before my wedding with anxiety. My dreams were weird, kept waking me, and my stomach was aching, body sweating, thoughts rushing. Yay, panic!

On the morning of the wedding, Ben went off to have a big breakfast with his friends while I nibbled at a piece of dry toast and sipped a lukewarm water. My bridesmaids and friends told me I had to eat something more substantial lest I pass out in the heat but food was not happening to me until the entire proceedings were done and I could sit back and relax. In the middle of my morning fretting, it started to pour. A heavy downpour that hadn't yet happened in our week in Hawaii (all sunshine before that day) and I started to get a "bit" worried about our outdoor ceremony. I told my bridesmaids upfront that I would likely be a terror for the rest of the morning. They graciously accepted and said it was fine and then my bridesmaid gave me the best anxiety-ridding tool I've ever used (and I've suffered with a lot of anxiety, for a long time, and used a ton of tools).

She told me that whenever I got scared or nervous or thought I was going to throw up/pass out, I just needed to sing to myself the chorus of the 30 Rock Tracy Jordan novelty party song: "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah." Ben and I are huge 30 Rock fans and often find ourselves singing the chorus to this super ludicrous song, so it was the perfect (bizarre) suggestion to banish nerves. My maid of honor (doubling as officiant and MoH), was nervous, we were all sweating profusely in layers of tulle in the Hawaiian sun, and we were all worried something would go wrong/we'd pass out in the heat. For the rest of the morning leading up to the ceremony, we all sang "Werewolf bar mitzvah, spooky scary, boys become men, men becoming woooolves." Though it was likely much to the irritation of anyone else in the room that happened to hear this song 20 times that morning, it actually helped me glide through my wedding day anxiety and I feel forever grateful for that weird tidbit of advice.


  1. Ramida DusdeevutikulApril 5, 2015 at 9:52 PM

    lovely pictures! you look great!

  2. So we have been rewatching 30 Rock on Netflix recently and just watched this episode, it's hilarious...and now that song is stuck in my head, ha! Can't wait to see you this week!

  3. Such beautiful pictures , I love them , you look stunning!!!


  4. Geoffrey F. NormanApril 6, 2015 at 11:53 AM

    What a great way to deal with anxiety of any sort. I've used humor/songs in the past for similar bits of anxiety (although none of them nuptially related.

  5. Your pictures look beautiful! That's a great way to diffuse a situation + relieve stress. My stress reliever is usually to think, "could this be worse than Liz Lemon's high school reunion?" 30 Rock always does the trick. :) Hope you had the perfect wedding day!

  6. Gorgeous photos! Thank you for sharing your sharing your story and I bet this tip will really resonate with others who face anxiety. Hope you are having an amazing time and a best wishes to you Mrs.

  7. Such a great outfit and beautiful photos. I also really love the story you shared. So many of us have anxiety of all different degrees, and it's nice to hear how other people cope.


    Something About That

  8. I love that top, such a fun color! It's really great that you shared this story, several people struggle with anxiety and it's so great to hear stories of how other people are able to get through it.


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