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In the sunshine of last weekend, Ben took me on a picnic to Cathedral Park underneath the St. John's Bridge. He'd taken off early from studying and decided to dedicate the second half of Saturday to exploring Portland and having fun. For some reason, I was in a terrible mood. One of those weird moods that I couldn't shake. I'd been working on some calligraphy projects all morning, had fallen into a groove of productivity, and then was whisked away to a sunshine-y picnic. I suppose that's something most people would relish and be thankful for. Apparently I did not.
I'm not sure about you, but when I get into a bad mood, it perpetuates itself. I feel grumpy, I'm not very nice, then I feel bad for being grumpy and not very nice and get even more grumpy and not nice. It's some kind of horrid mood cycle that benefits no one, but is really difficult to break out of. At one point, Ben asked me to smile for 80 seconds straight (it actually helps). At another, he told me I could only say positive, nice things - nothing negative could come out of my mouth while we ate lunch. His efforts worked a little bit, but didn't shake that doom-and-gloom kind of feeling.
My the end of the picnic we were not having an awesome time - walking around the park not talking (me, because I had nothing to say, and Ben, because he was starting to get mad at me for ruining the beautiful day). Though we argued about my mood a bit (Ben: just choose to be in a good mood. Me: I can't!), Ben eventually loaded me up into the car, made me put on a pair of socks (my feet were cold), and we just sat there, not driving, until we could think of something to do next that would improve my mood. Ben suggested going home and watching a movie, despite the sun, or sending me back to work on my calligraphy projects. We went through a whole list of Portland activities and finally decided to get a beer at a new brewery and then go home and go out to dinner with some good friends. About that point, my mood shifted, I felt better, and things improved. It ended up being a really amazing afternoon and great dinner out.
Though this isn't a flattering account of myself, I am always struck by Ben's persistence in helping to make things better. He doesn't give up, rarely gets mad, and he's always hunting for a solution to a problem like a bad day. He has a whole arsenal of irritating little tricks that work (that smile for 80 seconds thing) and he usually knows what will elevate my mood. I think it's key for a partner, no matter how difficult it is, to be patient and kind when the other partner is running low on the patient and kind tank. It makes a world of difference to have someone willing to sit with your bad mood and help you solve it, than someone who leaves you to deal with it on your own.
In the sunshine of last weekend, Ben took me on a picnic to Cathedral Park underneath the St. John's Bridge. He'd taken off early from studying and decided to dedicate the second half of Saturday to exploring Portland and having fun. For some reason, I was in a terrible mood. One of those weird moods that I couldn't shake. I'd been working on some calligraphy projects all morning, had fallen into a groove of productivity, and then was whisked away to a sunshine-y picnic. I suppose that's something most people would relish and be thankful for. Apparently I did not.
I'm not sure about you, but when I get into a bad mood, it perpetuates itself. I feel grumpy, I'm not very nice, then I feel bad for being grumpy and not very nice and get even more grumpy and not nice. It's some kind of horrid mood cycle that benefits no one, but is really difficult to break out of. At one point, Ben asked me to smile for 80 seconds straight (it actually helps). At another, he told me I could only say positive, nice things - nothing negative could come out of my mouth while we ate lunch. His efforts worked a little bit, but didn't shake that doom-and-gloom kind of feeling.
My the end of the picnic we were not having an awesome time - walking around the park not talking (me, because I had nothing to say, and Ben, because he was starting to get mad at me for ruining the beautiful day). Though we argued about my mood a bit (Ben: just choose to be in a good mood. Me: I can't!), Ben eventually loaded me up into the car, made me put on a pair of socks (my feet were cold), and we just sat there, not driving, until we could think of something to do next that would improve my mood. Ben suggested going home and watching a movie, despite the sun, or sending me back to work on my calligraphy projects. We went through a whole list of Portland activities and finally decided to get a beer at a new brewery and then go home and go out to dinner with some good friends. About that point, my mood shifted, I felt better, and things improved. It ended up being a really amazing afternoon and great dinner out.
Though this isn't a flattering account of myself, I am always struck by Ben's persistence in helping to make things better. He doesn't give up, rarely gets mad, and he's always hunting for a solution to a problem like a bad day. He has a whole arsenal of irritating little tricks that work (that smile for 80 seconds thing) and he usually knows what will elevate my mood. I think it's key for a partner, no matter how difficult it is, to be patient and kind when the other partner is running low on the patient and kind tank. It makes a world of difference to have someone willing to sit with your bad mood and help you solve it, than someone who leaves you to deal with it on your own.
I was in St. John's on Saturday afternoon as well! How did we miss each other??
ReplyDeleteOf course the whole ensemble is great, but this week the shades make the outfit! (omg, what is that blazing thing in the sky?)
ReplyDeleteLove the pictures! You did a great job capturing what it feels like to be in that park on a sunny day. Now I want to go!
ReplyDeleteI totally get it as sometimes I also get in those kind of moods. There is nothing wrong, kids and husband are happy, sunshine outside and I just can't shake the grumpiness. Glad that the brewery visit helped :)
ReplyDeleteBen is such a winner! And you are a winner too for having Ben and in retrospect, recognizing and appreciating what he's done for you. It's an unfortunate side effect that the people I love the most often have to deal with the worst of me!
ReplyDeleteBen sounds awesome. And I love this reflective post. I was that grumpy person this morning and totally made myself smile while singing a silly song in my head. It helped :) Beautiful photos!
ReplyDeleteHe does sound like a catch. And you're not the only one who can't shake the grumps sometimes—pretty sure we've all been there.
ReplyDelete<3 <3 in love with these photos. I love Cathedral park!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you found a very special someone! So glad you were able to turn the day around.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful pictures, as always! I love that you are so candid. It sounds like you've got yourself a great guy!
ReplyDeleteYou’re stunning! Loving this look from head to toe! <3
ReplyDeleteSending you much love!
xoxo, Vanessa
www.whatwouldvwear.net
It is so hard to have a weekend bad mood day. Happens to either my husband or me sometimes, too. Glad you were able to find something that made you feel better. This weather has been absolutely amazing, but also kind of pressure to have great weekends all the time!
ReplyDeleteUmmm I can SO relate to this post. I know we've talked about this before but yeah, once the bad mood spiral starts, it's pretty terrible. Glad you were able to salvage the day though!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I need to go up to St Johns more!