I used to think I had it all figured out - what I wanted to be when I grew up. Working in HR in higher education seemed like the perfect place for me, a home for well-crafted emails, too many commas, and big dreams. A place where there wasn't a lot of money, but there was a lot of passion that made the little we had go farther. But lately I find myself wondering where I really want to go in terms of career. Knocked out of higher ed by our move to Portland, I find myself struggling. Do I want to make a career in HR if it's not in academia? Is the corporate world, where there is more money to go around than hope, just not the right place for me?
I find myself dreaming of quitting work entirely and blogging for a living. That would be ideal, but totally unrealistic for the girl with tens of thousands of dollars in student loans and a boyfriend in medical school. I find myself dreaming of getting better at anything creative and becoming a photographer, a stylist, a globetrotter (self, you hate traveling!), a part-time writer, a full-time pinner of perfect apartments and weddings and meals. These are certainly impractical dreams, but I think I need to keep my head in the creative world, if only in my hobbies and after-work pursuits. Academia contained that for me, through college and my first job - big thinkers, big talkers, big dreamers, and constant scholarliness. Blogging cultivates that for me now and for that I'm entirely grateful. It's keeping me afloat now that I am here in Portland.
I think that I need to keep my head partially in the clouds (perhaps just my sock bun), so that I can keep seeing everything as beautiful and full of possibility. I need to remember not to let the fact that I'm no longer working at a hub for the liberal arts stop me from feeling creatively fulfilled. And with that, I'm going to sit down with a beer and the gorgeous Design * Sponge at Home and dream.